Bag lady syndrome knows no boundaries.

I have clients who are multimillionaires who stay awake at night in fear that they will lose all their money and end up living under an overpass as a bag lady.

It really doesn’t matter how much money you have.
The tell tale sign is that you are afraid you will lose it all.

Your brain goes to the extreme.

In a study of 2,213 women with household incomes of $30,000 or more the majority said they “often” or “sometimes” fear losing all their money and becoming homeless.

What?!?

And A THIRD of women with household incomes of $200,000 or higher often or sometimes fear losing all of their money and becoming homeless.

Crazy.

Why don’t men have the same fear?

Personal Finance Editor Richard Eisenberg says, “For the most part, there are three things we as men don’t think we need help with: directions; in the bedroom… men think they were born with an extra gift; and money. We think we can figure it out on our own.” 

I know, I know, it’s ridiculous.

It’s easy to see how wrong the men are.
It’s easy to see someone else’s problems.
Let’s turn the lens on ourselves.
Maybe it’s just as ridiculous to them that we have bag lady fears.

Bag lady syndrome comes from a scarcity mindset.

It comes from thoughts like…
“I might make a big financial mistake.”
“The whole economy might tank.”
“I don’t have enough money.”

And thoughts like these are intertwined with the idea that you have no control over your outcomes in life.

So much suffering, 
and yet we are still warm and dry and safe.
​​​​​​​But that’s how our brains work.  
Our minds try to keep us safe.

Friends, let me make a suggestion.

You can choose to disbelieve these painful thoughts.

You get to decide what you think.

You can decide to disbelieve that you will end up a bag lady.

You don’t hit hard financial times and then give up.
You get a job.
Or live with relatives.
Or ask for help.

And I have yet to have a client who has become homeless.

But homelessness is never really the issue.
It’s what’s going on in your mind.

The fear.

So when you feel the fear rising, stop and ask yourself… 

Is it true?

Choose to disbelieve.

And be compassionate with yourself.

Maybe we can take a page from the men.

We can always get more money.
There is plenty to go around.

Let this be your meditation for today…
There is plenty.

We all have a money story.

That story includes how we have spent money in the past and how we learned hard lessons about money and about how much money we have earned or how much we haven’t earned.

And this is important because it gives us clues about what we are thinking about money.

But what is most important is your relationship with money right now.

There is so much baggage that goes along with you and money.How much do you have?
What does that mean about you?

You may have $100,000 and think you hit the lottery.  Or you may have $100,000 and think that it’s possible you will be a bag lady within a year.

You get to decide in your head what money means.

Because money isn’t real. Money is an agreement we have all made to assign a value to a piece of paper.  Or a plastic card.  Or some numbers on a computer screen.

And talking and thinking about money is fascinating because it’s really ultimately about worthiness and values.

It’s a story.

Your story.

And the really cool part is that you can write the money story of your future.

Write it down for real.

And then take the first step to make that story a reality.

Each day take another little step.

Big change can happen with tiny steps.

We are taught that a man is going to financially support us.
“Men bring home the bacon.”
“Men are better at handling the money.”
“Men are better at math.”

Sometimes people tell us these things, but more often it is simply what we observe.

If in every family you know the man handles the money, that’s what you know.

It’s harder to fight something that isn’t even put into words.  
It’s harder to fight something you learn through osmosis… from just absorbing the example that’s around you.

It becomes “just how things are.”

If someone were to ask you if men are better than women, you would say, “No. Of course not.”

But your actions may contradict what your brain spits out.

Do you have equal say where the money is spent?
Where the money is invested?
Do you know where all the important papers are?

It takes more effort to assert yourself and be part of the money decisions than it takes to sit back and let someone else handle it.
I get it.

But when we become conscious and engaged we become aware of the inequalities between men and women and their money.

It takes effort, but it’s not hard.

You can start with something as small as an off-hand conversation or as big as raising your prices or asking for a raise.

It’s time to become conscious and engaged.

But it all has to start with awareness.

Men are not better.
Just different.
And we can do different.

Take the tiny step of deciding things are going to be different.