It’s the rules that hurt.
I had a friend tell me that she doesn’t have as many friends as she thought she had.
She has reached out and they have moved on to new jobs or new interests or new friends.
No time for her.
One in particular just decided she didn’t feel like spending time with her anymore. She just wasn’t interested.
It tore my heart to see her in such pain. She is such a sweetheart.
But what is hurting her is the rule she has in her head that friendships should stay the same.
And the rule that people should like you back as much as you like them.
No one has done anything cruel to her on purpose.
No laws have been broken.
But the rules we have about how things should be are what cause us emotional pain.
Sometimes I like to break rules.
Maybe the new rule is that people are allowed to like who they like and spend time with whoever they want to spend time with.
And we can still love them just as much.
Because we are the ones who feel the love when we love someone.
What rules are causing you pain?
I just saw a job description listed for a part time project-based assistant for a photographer out in California.
He is seeking someone who is “passionate, enthusiastic and sees life as the best adventure and best gift ever!!!”
Yep. He used three exclamation points in a job listing.
Love it.
But isn’t that a great listing for a lot of people in our lives?
Husbands/wives
Best friends
Bosses
Coworkers
If they are passionate, enthusiastic and see life as the best adventure and best gift ever, that pretty much makes everything else just a learning curve.
I wouldn’t mind that as my obituary.
What do you want your obituary to say?
Our brains are wired to think, “What if this doesn’t work out?!?”
What if I go broke and end up out on the street like a hobo?
What if he/she finds out who I really am and dumps me like a hot potato?
What if I never figure out what I want to do with my life?
What if he dies and I am left all alone?
It’s okay to think those thoughts.
Our brains are just trying to prepare and protect us.
But we can use the executive part of our brain to balance the alarmist part of our noggins.
When alarms are going off in your head, that’s the time to gently ask yourself,
“What if it all works out?
What does that look like?
Sound like?
Feel like?”
Ground yourself in that sensation.
Chances are good the universe is working in your favor.