Reminder: You are always 100% in charge of what you decide to do or not do over the holidays.
You are also not required to feel guilty about anything.
Guilt is a useless emotion.
Gifting
Wrapping
Holiday music
Baking
All that cooking
Donating
Cards
Visiting
Family
You can opt out.
You can opt in.
It’s in your hands.
| I love giving gifts that don’t clutter up someone’s house. Most of us don’t need more stuff. We want more moments and more meaning. In previous years I have offered ideas of experiences you can give as gifts. This year I am taking it up a notch and offering you a few ideas of experiences you can give as a gift AS WELL AS helping a charity at the same time. Drum roll please: Tickets to the Independent Picture House There is a new independent/art film theater in Charlotte, and I have a friend who loves to support the arts. This is the perfect gift for her… perhaps tickets tied to a box of popcorn or milk duds. We can see a movie together and support the arts at the same time. Maybe your town has an art film theater too. Gift Card to Julia’s Coffee Shop There is a cool little coffeeshop/bookstore in Charlotte that is run by Habitat for Humanity. Your friend gets coffee and Habitat gets all the proceeds to help build houses for people who need a home. Annual Pass to America’s National Parks For the people on your list with a love of the outdoors, a pass to all our incredible National Parks is a natural. My sister gave me a lifetime pass last year, and I am still thrilled.An annual pass is $80 for most folks. If you are 62 years old or older, an annual pass is $20 and a lifetime pass is $80. A steal. Take them to dinner at The King’s Kitchen In my city, there is a non-profit restaurant and bakery that exists “in the spirit of excellence by training and equipping men and women most consider to be unemployable. Our leadership and life-skills training transform those once at risk and turn them into leaders in the Charlotte Community.” I haven’t tried it yet, but the photo on their website of the fried chicken looks mouthwatering even to someone who doesn’t like fried chicken. A pet from the Humane Society I don’t personally want a new pet this year (do you hear me gift giving friends?) But if you/they are ready, you are going to get big love from giving a furry bundle of joy. And surely there is some rainforest that we could save by giving and eating more chocolate. 🙂 What experiences can you give where you live? |
The holiday season is zooming towards us.
I’ve been to the stores and I see the decorations.
I see the merchandise.
And I have received the call from my in-laws about what to bring for Thanksgiving.
They want me to make something I can’t eat with my dietary restrictions. (I’m gluten-free, dairy-free… doctor’s orders.)
So, I set a firm boundary.
I told my mother-in-law that if I can’t eat it, I don’t want to cook it and bring it.
I want to have at least one thing at the all-day eat-a-thon that I can consume.
I don’t want to sit at the big table and watch everyone else eat piles of my favorites while I sip a glass of water.
I let her know that I would figure out what I want to make and get back to her.
Ha! Boundary set!
And then I CHANGED MY MIND.
Because I’m allowed to do that.
I called her a week later and told her I AM going to make green bean casserole for her.
There’s a lot of peeling in the making of mashed potatoes.
Roasting root vegetables is too laborious to do for a large group.
A green bean casserole really is quick when I don’t make the fried onions from scratch.
And then I can make myself GF spaghetti with meat sauce as a treat. Just for me.
I get excited when I think about it.
It’s a win-win.
I talk with you a lot about how to set boundaries.
I talk about the “Yes Sandwich.”
I talk about the three steps of making a request, a consequence and then enforcing the consequence.
But I don’t have to be a hard ass to have people respect me.
We are allowed to change our minds.
That’s not people pleasing.
That’s agency.