I have been rereading the Tao de Ching, and I must need this idea in my life, because this jumped out at me…
“When nothing is done, nothing is left undone.”
Maybe I am feeling overwhelmed at balancing work and home life, parenting kids, parenting an aging parent, spousing, and well, the world right now.
So doing nothing sounds yummy.
But doing nothing and having it all done sounds too good to be true.
It sounds like woo woo hocus pocus.
I’m all for a little woo… all religions are based on belief in things that can’t be explained by science (yet).
And who are we without some sort of wonder and awe?
But here is what I think Lao Tzu was saying:
Force things less and less until you finally arrive at non-action.
Go along with the true nature of the world, letting things take their natural course.
(My translation would include letting your sphincter muscle relax and go with the flow.)
This doesn’t mean total inaction.
It doesn’t mean lay on the couch in your underpants with the remote in hand and the drapes drawn.
It just FEELS like inaction because we are letting things naturally unfold.
We can stop trying to make things fit our idea of positive outcome.
Or maybe Lao Tzu meant for us to stop the hustle.
Stop keeping score.
Stop the struggle.
I think that the translator, Stephen Mitchell, explained it best as… not doing because you become part of it.
Like when you can’t tell the dancer apart from the dance.
How I am going to try to use idea of doing nothing in my own life:
Instead of doing things to support my loved ones I AM support because I embody it. I don’t have to DO things to support them, when they think of support they think of me.
They feel supported because I am support.
Instead of teaching coaching tools to help people questions beliefs I aim to LIVE it… in the harmony of not holding on to my beliefs too tightly. I am living the tool.
To go another layer deep…
“The softest things of the world can overcome the hardest things of the world.” ~Lao Tzu
Tao Te Ching Chapter 78
Nothing in the world
is as soft and yielding as water.
Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible,
nothing can surpass it.
The soft overcomes the hard;
the gentle overcomes the rigid.
Everyone knows this is true,
but few can put it into practice.
Therefore the Master remains
serene in the midst of sorrow.
Evil cannot enter his heart.
Because he has given up helping,
he is people’s greatest help.
True words seem paradoxical.
[Lao Tzu, translated by Stephen Mitchell]
Be the water.
What do you think?
I am breaking the rules again.
My marketing team says to pick one thing to “fix”.
One niche.
One central idea of how I help people.
But I’m getting older.
I’m less inclined to do what I am told.
(I’m such a scamp.)
So I am going with more of a smorgasbord strategy.
Not because I think it’s a better way to spread my message, but because it feels right.
I have more to offer.
And that right there is the compass I use in all of my work.
I am steering towards what feels delicious.
Not only do I do money coaching, but I do straight up life coaching.
I have always been a life coach. But sometimes I need to tell people to remind them.
So I have a new offer.
Here is my first attempt of explaining what I do. Click here to read about it . Let me know if you think I could be clearer. Or if you think I should use fewer bulleted lists. (Yep, probably.)
So, I am a Money Coach AND a Life Coach.
You don’t have to feel stress around money to work with me.
I have two more items I am adding to the smorgasbord of offerings in the next few weeks.
So tuck in your napkin and wear your pants with an elastic waist.
There is more to come!
I had a lovely reminder this week that we create what we seek to escape.
By trying to avoid something we fear, we draw it to ourselves.
Catch 22ish.
Our thoughts, like “My kids should come home for Mother’s Day,” create feelings like hurt and sorrow, which drive us to take actions like being a little withdrawn when the kids do call, which creates the result of everyone not feeling as connected, which in turn creates even less of a chance of the kids coming home the following year.
Simply put:
CIRCUMSTANCE: My kids don’t come see me on Mother’s Day.
THOUGHT: My kids should come home for Mother’s Day.
Creates the FEELING: Hurt.
Which creates the ACTION: I am hurt/cagey on the Mothers’ Day phone call.
Which creates the RESULT: None of us feel connected.
Which brings about the original fear… less of a chance of the kids coming home next year.
Apply it to any fear you have.
Your thoughts cause your feelings which causes your actions which creates your results.
And your results always reinforce your original thought.
Powerful stuff.
Thanks to the lovely woman who quoted this back to me, which reminded me to share the fundamentals of the work I do with you.