It seems like life happens to us.
Like we’re not in control.
But let me offer you this… life doesn’t happen to you. It happens FOR you.
By learning to listen to your body and choosing how to move through the world, you can create your experiences.
You can create a kick-ass life you don’t even dare dream about.
And you don’t have to do it all on your own.
Get yourself a coach.
A good coach.
And it doesn’t have to be me. Although I am happy to be the one.
I hired my first coach five years ago.
Best thing I have ever done with my money.
Hands down.
When I studied Psychology in college, freshman year we did the ubiquitous Skinner Box experiment. That’s the one where you put a cute little white rat in a cage/box with a bottle of sugar-water. The rat figures out that if he steps on a tiny little lever that a drop of yummy sugary water comes out. It’s basic operant conditioning where the rats have to display certain behavior to get a reward.
Well, a small group of scientists including experimental scientist Bruce Alexander, were running experiments on rats. But instead of sugar-water, the rats were using the lever to inject themselves with morphine. (Yikes!)
The idea was to run studies on addiction.The result of the morphine experiment was that the rats pressed the lever at an alarming rate . They consumed huge amounts of heroin, morphine, amphetamine, cocaine and other drugs. They became regular rat junkies.
Most people concluded that these drugs were irresistibly addictive to rats, and therefore to humans.
That makes sense. But Alexander had a different idea.
This is where it got interesting.
He noticed that the experimental rats were housed in small individual cages that had metal sides so they couldn’t see or hear anyone except the people who came to clean their cage every couple of days.
It was rat solitary confinement.
Rats are very social, sexual, industrious creatures. They are much like humans in that way.
Alexander thought that perhaps it’s not the drug that is addictive, but maybe it’s the only way available for the rats to mentally escape their rat prison.
Maybe it’s their life that drives them to drugs.
So the scientists built a rat park. It had all the things rats love: hamster wheels, things to climb on, cans to hide in, wood chips, and of course, rats of the same and opposite sex. Friends.
The results were amazing. The social “free” rats with the rat park environment were still allowed free access to the morphine, but consumed almost none. The caged rats on the other hand, some days consumed as much as 25 times the amount of morphine as the social rats.
The new findings resonate with me. When I feel trapped… always in a prison of my own making… I turn to addictive tendencies to avoid the trapped feelings. My drugs of choice are food, TV and the Internet.
When I am doing things I find engaging in a place I feel free, I rarely overeat or turn on the tube.
So, I am out to build a rat park. Not the kind for rats, but the perfect park for me, with all the things that I love and make me lose track of time.
It will be a blast to figure out what goes into it.
What would you put in your perfect park?
Footnote: My freshman year Psychology lab partner stole our rat from the lab so it wouldn’t be disposed of. This cute little pink-eyed, white rat grew into an enormous, foot-long ugly rat. One day it bit her on the finger while she was on her porch and she reactively threw it over the balcony, where he scurried into the woods. While that sounds sad, I’m thinking that in actuality she threw him into a giant rat park.
One kind of skinny person eats when and what they feel like eating during a day, using a mix of their natural body signals and their minds.
The other kind of skinny person laments over what they eat, feels deprived, but still eats what they “should” be eating.
I want to be the first kind of skinny person.
I want to make my food choices the same way I buy clothes. I want to look at my options, ogle over some, dismiss others, and ultimately find just the right thing for my particular body.
I used to be the second kind of skinny person. I consciously and unconsciously counted calories. There were good foods and bad foods. It was about control, avoidance and deprivation.
What I want is for eating to be a series of delights all strung together. I want it to be satisfying. I want it to not be a struggle.
But, I am skinny no longer. ‘Even with the fierce conviction and strict rules in my head I am overweight. (Probably because of the rules.)
I have quite a bit of weight to lose both for my health and for my vanity.
I want to use my coaching tools to lose weight without the drama.
I want to lose weight without the resistance.
I think that my coaching tools, which have healed me in so many ways, can heal my body too.
As I am on my weight loss journey, I will be sharing with you my wins and losses. I’ll let you know what works and what doesn’t.
My challenge is overeating. Yours might be your career or a relationship or shopping or drinking. I hope my journey will give you insight into yours.
This first step is awareness.
I am aware that resistance is a force, like gravity.
What you resist persists. I am aware that I was forcing myself to eat the “right way”.
I am on a quest to change what my body wants, rather than resisting it’s current wants.
I am aware that I am on a journey to change my life and that changing how I think about my life will lay the groundwork to change my fuel.
Should be interesting.