A few years back, I was complaining to someone (probably my poor sweet husband) that all everyone cared about at Thanksgiving was eating. Grrr. Thanksgiving is a land mine for those of us who are drawn like a magnet to the holy trinity of fat, salt and sweet.
Anyway, the words came out of my mouth, “Why do people make this holiday all about the food?”, when it dawned on me that it IS a holiday all about the food. There are no presents or Thanksgiving songs. There are no costumes.
They were making it about food because IT IS A HOLIDAY ABOUT FOOD!!!
Turkey and stuffing and gravy and cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes and green bean casserole and pumpkin pie.
To name a few.
It’s tradition.
It’s our ritual.
And then I realized that I totally bought into that idea because for ME, it was a holiday about food.
It’s actually a holiday about gratitude. Oh, yeah. I totally forgot.
So, I stepped away from the fourteen dish meal planning and put a little effort into the whole “thankful” part.
We now have a few new Yale rituals.
We decorate with natural things found in our yard. (It looks better than it sounds.)
We write down what we are thankful for and I put all the slips of paper in a hermetically sealed envelope in my attic like a poorly hidden time capsule.
Well, that’s it so far. But if you have any suggestions for awesome rituals, let me know. Because the more we put the focus on things that fill us in a way that food does not, the more we don’t need food to feel full.
I look forward to a Thanksgiving without elastic waisted pants.
What are you really hungry for?
Me: Do you believe telekinesis is real?
Boy Child: No.
Girl Child: Yawn.
Me: I’ll bet you five bucks that I can make this piece of cake disappear with my MIND.
BC: No, you can’t. (Rolls eyes.)
GC: OK. (Humors me.)
Me: Done. Ta da!!
BC: You just ate that. (Rolls eyes AND walks away.)
Me: But my MIND told my hand and mouth to do it. My mind was in charge of the whole operation.
BC thinks he has won. But I think I have won. Minds are cool like that.
Choose the cake.
Or don’t.
You have the power.
You are in charge.
*This blog post was heavily inspired by The Bloggess. This post and my enjoyment of curse words.
Nothing outside you can ever give you what you are looking for. ~Byron Katie
Byron Katie is an inspiring thought leader and founder of The Work.
One of her core teachings is about three types of business.
This is gold. This is freedom. So, listen like there is going to be a written test.
There are three types of business. My business, your business and God’s business.
God’s business is anything you and I can’t control, like hurricanes, earthquakes, when you are going to die, or the end of the world.
My business is anything I can control. (Side note: you can’t control someone else. So sorry about that.)
Everything else is other people’s business.
Most stress comes from being in someone else’s business.
Even in a good way.
I know, I know, it would be so handy to fix everything by “simply” changing other people. Sigh.
Here are some examples of thoughts that show you are in someone else’s business:
“You need to get a haircut.”
“You need to get a job.”
“I want him to be happy.” (What the wha? Yep. Wanting someone else to feel something different than they are is being in someone’s business.”)
“My mother should understand me.”
“My husband should show his love by… “
“My kids should appreciate the things I do.”
“He should be happy for me.”
“Jennifer didn’t smile at me.”
“My boss should know I’m doing my best.”
“My child shouldn’t hit someone.”
“He shouldn’t bring all that bad food in our house.”
Examples of being in God’s business:
“I am worried the drought will get worse.”
“What if I die tomorrow?”
“When will the world end?”
Examples of being in your own business:
Doing what’s right for myself.
Taking care of my health.
Taking responsibility for my choices.
Finding a source of inner peace.
Loving myself.
For a stress-free life, mind your own business.
Everyone will be better for it.
It’s not your business to love me, it is mine. ~Byron Katie