I've always told Bayla I thought she had Susan's hands. I am glad I had the chance to take a photo.
We were given a Christmas miracle. It’s one more Christmas with Susan.
Susan is my husband’s sweet, lovely sister. She was diagnosed with cancer in September, after waking up paralyzed. The paralysis was caused by the tumors in her brain. But there are many others in many parts of her body and they are growing faster than a teenage boy in puberty.
I called Susan as they were shaving her head for surgery and I got off the phone feeling loved and appreciated and special. Wow. She is one of those people who has the sweetness of spirit to make ME feel precious during HER mortal struggles.
The afternoon I spent alone by her bedside talking was an afternoon I will treasure forever.
These are conversations I would never have had if she hadn’t gotten sick.
It is the gift cancer has given us… time and deep connection.
I am the least of it. The whole Yale family has swarmed in and created a team of loving, serving kindness. As I stay in Charlotte and care for my children, the rest of the tribe have swarmed the little town of Traphill and cared for her like no other family I’ve seen.
The are feeding her, caring for her physical needs, renovating her house, handling her finances, buying her stuffed animals, holding her hand, gazing into her eyes, combing her hair…
It’s one big intense love-fest.
These are the meaningful conversations that give life depth and texture.
These are the illnesses that make us stop and grab the time while we have it.
The time we have left may be a moment, or weeks or months. Any length is enough.
This is the human experience, and I’m so thankful that Susan has stopped us all and given us this gift.
Christmas is a time to love. I am off to visit my Christmas miracle.
Your body can be a great source of joy.
Stop snickering. It’s no wonder we don’t talk about sensuality if you are going to snicker like a preteen boy when I bring it up.
None-the-less, when is the last time you lingered in the shower, paying attention to the feeling of water splashing on your skin?
When is the last time you breathed in deeply just to feel power of your lungs expand?
Have you noticed the deepness of blue color in the sky lately?
If you look around you can see that there is one sense we over-use… taste. If you are overweight you are usually trying to get all your sensory joy through taste.
It’s a taste monopoly.
Let’s break up the monopoly. Spread out the good feelings. Yes, you are free to have all the sex you want. But that’s just one way to feel good. There are limitless sensations to enjoy.
Indulge yourself visually. Binge view art. Or your child’s face. Or the colors of the grass and the clouds and the sky.
Stop and listen to a really great song with headphones. Choose one that brings back good memories. Or a song that is exquisitely performed.
Indulge all of your senses so you don’t look for all of your pleasure in food.
Your thighs will thank you. And you can increase your pleasure five fold when you layer fabulous feelings from all of your senses.
There are two ways to do it.
One: you can really zone into one experience with all your senses.
Two: You can layer different experiences together with purpose.
Here’s and example of my full frontal sense indulgence from this morning…
Sight: I chose a seat in my office looking out on the beautiful stone hearth and ivy bank with little chipmunks darting in and out of the holes in the stone wall.
Smell: I burned some Palo Santo (Holy Wood) that gives a delicious licorice-like smell.
Taste: Fresh raspberries
Sound: I put on some James Taylor. I played my favorites from college, and those great college feelings came through to me too.
Touch: I cuddled up in an incredibly soft blanket.
And then I paid attention to my senses. All of them.
Mmmmmmmm.
*No eclairs were harmed in the writing of this post.
Buffets are a dieter’s worst nightmare.
Because a dieter is trying to not eat bad food by using her willpower.
There are so many things wrong with that sentence, I can’t even tell you.
OK, I’m going to tell you.
First of all, there is no bad food.
Once you make something a bad food with your mind (making you a badass magician), that’s going to make you want it even more. There are some foods you don’t want to eat every day, sure, but they’re not “bad”. Labeling them as bad makes them taboo in an alluring way. Bad foods become your temptress. It’s a big, slippery slope of spiraling deprivation. (Not that I’m overly dramatic.) Don’t go there.
Second, instead of thinking about what NOT to eat, wouldn’t it be much more pleasurable to think about what you DO want to eat? Spend your time rolling around the delicious possibilities. A rich salmon with light steamy quinoa, or a thick smoothie with cocoa and nut butter? Mmmmm.
Third, if you are fighting your body urges with willpower, you will never win. You have to use your body’s urges to your advantage, not fight them. Willpower will not support you long-term. Use your mind management tools instead.
If you belly up to a buffet with the idea in your mind that you are going to gorge yourself, chances are good that you will
Take a look at your thoughts that have set you up in this no-win situation. Popular thoughts are, “I deserve to have what I want.” “It’s only once a year.” “It all looks so good.” “This will make me feel better.” “I want to get my money’s worth.”
Instead, how about choosing the thought, “What are going to be my top three choices?” And then choose to have three bites of each. After three bites it usually doesn’t taste as good anyway. Pay attention next time and see if that’s true for you.
Or how about the thought, “What is going to make my body feel good (and healthy) while I get a chance to catch up with all my friends? I want my best energy to say hi to everyone.”
Buffets are not your enemy. Buffets are neutral.
The thoughts you think about buffets are what get in the way.