Money problems?

Usually we either blame other people for causing our money pain… we hold others accountable… or else we blame ourselves.

It may seem like blaming ourselves is taking responsibility. But a lot of the time blaming ourselves shows up as self-pity and self-loathing. 
We indulge in overwhelm and worry… neither of which helps in any way.

Blaming other people doesn’t work because we think we are powerless over our money situation.

Things don’t change when we are powerless.

Blaming other people (like your crazy husband) or the stock market or the economic times may seem like the truth.
But that’s never the truth.

Blaming ourselves doesn’t work because we shift focus to how stupid we are or how worthless we are, which leaves us powerless to find and solve the real problem.

So those are our choices?
Give up your power or beat yourself up.
Ack.

Either way you end up in an unhealthy spin.

Unless you put aside the finger of blame and dig a little deeper for the real source of your money problems.

And the source of our problem is always the way we think and feel about money.

We can feel rich no matter what is happening around us.

Our money problem is always within us in how we think, feel and act.
We don’t have to blame ourselves to take responsibility.

We can heal our relationship with money,
look at our money and love our money.
No matter how big or small the number.

This week try this: When you are facing your money problems, take an eagle view and look at your money as if you were a bystander… a loving bystander.
Look at your money situation with curiosity and love.

After all, all of your money solutions start from a place of love and compassion.

Let’s start there.
No villain.
No victim.

I want you to write down what you spend.

Not so you can judge yourself.
Not so you can criticize yourself about what you spent.
Not so you can beat yourself up.

I want you to write down what you spend so you can decide whether it makes you feel abundant or if you buy things from a place of scarcity.

I know you are thinking that buying always makes you feel abundant.

But that’s now always the case.

You could buy a dress and feel very abundant.  It is a dress that you have been eyeing for a while and you have the money available to spend on a dress.

Or you could buy a dress and feel scarcity. You could think that you are only going to wear this dress once so it’s a waste of money. You are going to a wedding and you don’t have anything else to wear and you aren’t even really close to the bride.

The same thing may happen with the cable bill.

You may be excited and abundant when you pay the cable bill because you are excited that you can watch all of your favorite shows on all the channels.
Or you could feel scarce, like the cable company is sucking you dry and it shouldn’t cost SO. FREAKING. MUCH. 

In both cases you are paying the cable bill.  The difference is how you think and feel about it.

That’s what you want to keep track of when you journal.

Track what you spend money on and what you think and feel when you buy it.

It is amazing when you realize that it’s not the purchasing of things that makes you feel abundant.

Try this for a week: Only spend money from an abundant place.

Skip the things that feel scarce.
Boom.

It’s a game changer.

You can’t hate yourself richer.

Thinking that you are stupid with money is not productive.
Thinking that you are less than someone else who is “further ahead” is not useful.

If you are trying to loath yourself into getting more money, it may spur you momentarily, but it’s not sustainable.

The dream is that you will love yourself if you have more money.

The reality is when you get more money you are the same person but you have more money.

You think you will be on another plane of existence.
You get magical thinking.

You think that people will like you better and you will be smarter and the money will keep on coming.
You think that when you are rich your problems will seem small.
Or that you won’t have any more problems.
You think that you will like yourself better.

That’s not reality.

Self-loathing doesn’t flip off like a switch when the numbers in your bank account change.

What works so much better is self-love.
I KNOW! It seems backwards.

It seems like self-deprivation and restriction will make you more abundant.

But it’s the opposite.

Scarcity thinking creates more scarcity.
And abundant thinking creates abundance.

Loving yourself creates more pathways to money than self hate.
More money doesn’t make you better.

What makes you better is you working on you.
You opening yourself up and surrendering to the uncomfortableness of change.

Growth doesn’t happen when you are hating yourself.
All growth comes from a place of peace.