Whether you know it or not, you have a rule book for people in your life.
There is an unwritten set of rules of things you want people to do.

They usually don’t even know you have these requirements of them.

We get upset when they don’t give us the right gift.
Or like the same people we like.

We expect them to laugh the right amount, raise the children the way we were raised and know when we want to leave a party.
Or load the dishwasher the RIGHT WAY.

This rule book is thick.

Here’s the thing:

When other people don’t follow our rule book, we think it means they don’t love us. Or they don’t respect us.

But that is rarely the case.

Try this: Make a request.
For example, ask them to meet you at a certain time.

Then if they don’t honor the request, you take the responsibility for how you feel about it.

You can make it mean they are a horrible person.
Or you can make it mean that they aren’t there at the stated time.

Drama or no drama? 

It’s your choice.

And consider giving the rule book a break.
We could all use a break.

Doesn’t that sound heavenly… unconditional love?
It sounds like a big emotional hug because we imagine that it comes from someone else.
We imagine being loved for who we are, no matter what.

No. Matter. What.

It feels like a strong tree to lean against.

But here’s the thing:
It seems like unconditional love comes from someone else.
We are looking for validation from outside of ourselves.

And the truth is we can never feel a feeling because of something external.

All kinds of love, including unconditional love, are an inside job.

And that is really good news!
Because you create your own unconditional love.
Always.

You have access to it all the time.

Any time.

No one else can feel it for you.
Or create it for you.

You are free to love yourself or someone else.
With no conditions.
No asterisks.

And why not?  Love feels incredible.
I don’t see the downside.

You can see the reality of what is happening around you and still feel unconditional love.

It’s not causal.
It’s your choice.

I want to offer you a thought to think… “I love you and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Or better yet, “I love me and there’s nothing you can do about it.”