A lot of my clients don’t feel worthy of the money they have.
Only they don’t say it that way.
They say they are worried that they will lose all of this money they inherited.
Someone else earned it and they are afraid of sacrificing all of that person’s hard, hard work by screwing up and losing it.
Others say that they feel like an imposter when they go to make money.
They feel like someone is going to see through them and call them out. They aren’t the real deal like other people in their industry.
Still others have money flowing in and out of their lives but don’t have the self-worth to put some aside to take care of themselves when they get old or when they want to purchase something big.
I wish I could wave a magical fairy wand and give them self-worth.
But it doesn’t work that way.
There is no one thought that makes someone feel worthy.
There is no one event that will set everything right in their mind.
Creating self-worth isn’t an “Aha” moment.
Self-worth is like a building.
It takes a foundation AND flooring AND walls AND plumbing AND electrical AND windows AND a roof. At the very least.
Be patient with yourself.
You can build your self-worthiness.
Take the time and grace to locate all the pieces and make it solid.
You are worthy.
We are all worthy just by being born.
It just takes letting your mind catch up and pull together the evidence that builds the proof of self-worth.
My mother-in-law tells me that I DESERVE my new car.
I know she means that as a compliment. She is a sweetheart.
But I did nothing to deserve this car except save for it.
There are so many people more deserving than me.
And I do think I deserve it.
But we ALL deserve it.
Having things has nothing to do with deserving it unless you are a ten-year-old kid who did all your chores and that’s how you got something.
We have what we have because we decided to prioritize the thing and we had the resources to pay for it at the time it was the top priority.
Let’s not attach a lot of meaning to owning things.
It doesn’t feel good.
I was deserving of my new car 20 years ago. I just prioritized working less and paying for preschool for my toddlers so I could have some sanity. Last year the car bubbled up to top priority.
So I bought it.
Because that’s what I decided.
And that feels good.
| I see it all the time. In your heart of hearts, you think if I receive something, someone else is losing something. But most of life isn’t that way. Take for example your work life. When you get a promotion and other people don’t, it may seem like they have lost out. But it may be instead that they now have space for a different, more aligned job. This was never their job. It is your job. Or how about love. You give love. It’s not as if you give love and now you don’t have love anymore. No one loses. And then there is money. YES, MONEY! I always think of the Ghandi example. When he tried to give away all of his money, people kept giving him more. That’s a win-win. No losers there. He gave his money away and people gave him money. Maybe going for the win means you become stronger so you can reach back and give a hand to the others. Just because you win doesn’t mean someone else loses. So go for the win. |