I go down to the shore in the morning
and depending on the hour the waves
are rolling in or moving out,
and I say, oh, I am miserable,
what shall—
what should I do? And the sea says
in its lovely voice:
Excuse me, I have work to do.
~Mary Oliver
Nature operates on its own essential cycle.
Nature is steadfast and reliable and lovely.
Nature holds our answers.
We are part of nature.
And nature is part of us.
New Years Day, when I made my list of resolutions, finishing my travel to all 50 states was at the top of my list.
I have been delaying my trip for a couple of years due to shifting priorities in my life. Stuff comes up. And I am happy with my choices. But now is the time to at last visit Wisconsin and Minnesota. Yes… Minnesota.
Some of you have been asking HOW to actually accomplish your goals.
How to go to Wisconsin is pretty clear… I will hop in my little car and start driving.
But some of your resolutions like “change jobs”, “lose 100 pounds” or “Marie Kondo the crap out of my house” have many steps, components and challenges.
We’ve all made resolutions and not stuck to them or been sidetracked.
If you are not sticking with your resolution or aren’t accomplishing what you want to for the year, there is one thing stopping you.
It’s your confidence.
Your confidence in knowing that you can achieve your goal.
Your brain doesn’t follow through on the things you don’t believe you can do.
If you aren’t actively changing what your brain believes it can accomplish, you are going to repeat old patterns.
If you don’t think you can figure out how to book hotel rooms or follow maps/GPS, you won’t go to Wisconsin.
How much you want things does not factor into the outcome.
You must change your confidence in yourself to change outcomes.
Your brain will match whatever you are confident in doing.
And changing your brain isn’t as difficult as you might think.
You don’t have to believe you are that person. You have to believe that you are a person who is capable of becoming that person.
Confidence is believing you can solve the problems that come up.
In reality, going to Wisconsin isn’t really a goal.
For me it’s more of a to-do item.
I know I can do it. I have slept in 48 other states. I have proof that has created belief.
But you don’t have to have specific proof ahead of time.
You have proof that you have done other hard things.
Remind your brain of those successes.
Change your brain and your results will follow.
Once you are confident, obstacles are no longer reasons to give up and they turn into challenges to solve.
The goal is not perfection. The goal is wholeness.
So how the heck do we get to wholeness?
Wholeness involves accepting and integrating all parts of who you are, including your mistakes, your messy bits, and shortcomings, as well as embracing experiences that are both joyful and painful.
Wholeness means you embrace your flaws and incorporate them into the whole you.
Aim for progress over perfection… the journey over the arrival.
The litmus test: Pursuing perfection feels stressful.
Wholeness feels like peace.
What would you do next if the goal is wholeness?
What if what makes you beautiful is your imperfections?