The only thing that wearing a disguise will bring you is something that is not right for you.
We all do it… wear disguises.
Think about when you meet someone you are interested in. It’s not like you’re a total fraud.
You don’t change who you are on purpose, but you dazzle them with only your best self. You are endlessly witty. You primp if you think you are going to see them when you go out. You point out the things you have in common, but not how you are different.
This is natural.
Facebook is a perfect example. I can’t tell you how many clients I have that avoid going on Facebook because it sounds like everyone is doing better than they are.
People don’t post their boring days or their big mistakes on Facebook.
I like seeing the good and the bad. It’s boring without the depth.
So here’s my thought. Keep Throwback Thursday BUT ALSO HAVE Unfortunate-Incident Wednesday.
I think this could catch on. I could tell all about how my skirt fell off in the middle of Church Street. I could share how my bikini top shot off like a rubber band on a sailing trip. (Hmmm. These could actually be some good blog topics.)
Enough with disguises. Show the best AND the worst.
Now, I’m not encouraging you to meet someone and tell them which STDs you have while shaking their hand. But I am suggesting you let the real you hang out.
If a new friend or love interest wants you to go camping, then go camping. But don’t pretend it’s your favorite if it’s not. Don’t hide the fact that you can’t stand digging a latrine. That will only get you invited on more camping trips in the sticks.
Don’t wear a disguise to get other people’s approval. That only works for the short-term.
And the person you put on the biggest disguise for?
Yourself.
And you don’t even know it.
“I’m okay.”
“Things will get better if I just hang in there.”
“I’m not really tired, I just need a cup of coffee to get going.”
Take off your disguise and start your reinvention.
It’s only through the clarity of knowing who you are and showing the real you that you attract your tribe.
Wearing a disguise takes sooo much energy.
Be brave.
Take off your disguise and the people who think you are a rock star… the people who will be your raving fans… will be able to find you.
I have been putting pedal to the metal in the home stretch of my Master Life Coaching program. (Picture a horse running toward the barn.)
There have been speeches to make, articles to write and programs and products to create. Writing, writing, writing!
In the months to come I will be unveiling some of these new and exciting creations, but for now, while I am still in the midst of it, I just wanted to pause and share.
The course is, in part, designed to bring up your “shit”. It pushes you into a corner and holds you there until you do your own version of wriggling and squirming. And as stuff comes up… things like inadequacy and thinking I need to do things “right”… it is a perfectly safe place to work through it and come out on the other side.
Imagine that. A coaching program designed to coach you to your right life.
So things in my life have been shaking and rocking and rolling.
I picture it like a space capsule returning to earth with the scorching heat burning so hot that even the tiles are rattling to stay in place. That blazing heat burns away any foreign matter trying to cling to it. (Like shit. Or a ham sandwich.)
I have already burned away a couple good chunks of debris, and I am sure that more shit will pop up as I crash and tumble my way through the ring of fire.
As Chuck Yeager says, “Just before you break the sound barrier, the cockpit shakes the most.” How wise, Chucky-san.
So bring on the shaking.
Oh – and on another note, I just watched a really good movie on HBO called “About Time”. I recommend it. I think you can get it on Netflix too. Or maybe the movie store in your neighborhood.
I don’t want to say too much and spoil it for you, but let’s just say that the formula he uses (at the end) to find happiness is spot-on. I just have to try to do it without using time travel. (For obvious reasons.)
Much love,
Ellen