You can’t hate yourself richer.
Thinking that you are stupid with money is not productive.
Thinking that you are less than someone else who is “further ahead” is not useful.
If you are trying to loath yourself into getting more money, it may spur you momentarily, but it’s not sustainable.
The dream is that you will love yourself if you have more money.
The reality is when you get more money you are the same person but you have more money.
You think you will be on another plane of existence.
You get magical thinking.
You think that people will like you better and you will be smarter and the money will keep on coming.
You think that when you are rich your problems will seem small.
Or that you won’t have any more problems.
You think that you will like yourself better.
That’s not reality.
Self-loathing doesn’t flip off like a switch when the numbers in your bank account change.
What works so much better is self-love.
I KNOW! It seems backwards.
It seems like self-deprivation and restriction will make you more abundant.
But it’s the opposite.
Scarcity thinking creates more scarcity.
And abundant thinking creates abundance.
Loving yourself creates more pathways to money than self hate.
More money doesn’t make you better.
What makes you better is you working on you.
You opening yourself up and surrendering to the uncomfortableness of change.
Growth doesn’t happen when you are hating yourself.
All growth comes from a place of peace.
I could be upset.
I could be angry or nervous or scared.
But I don’t want to feel angry or nervous or scared or upset.
My property tax just went through the roof.
It seems like feeling angry is going to be motivation for change.
It seems like being upset is the impetus for social justice.
But it doesn’t usually work that way.
You can usually get closer to your goal by having a good feeling rather than a bad feeling.
Imagine if I went in to the tax office and was angry and upset.
Imagine me spitting and seething with a small amount of steam coming out of my ears.
I don’t think people are likely to bend over backwards to help me if I come in tense and angry.
Things are more likely to change if I come in with compassion for the difficult job of the tax workers.
I am more likely to sway people to see my side if I am at the least cool and collected.
But even more importantly, I would much rather feel compassion and love than feel angry and scared.
I might feel scared because I think I won’t have enough money to pay my taxes next year.
Or I could choose to feel grateful for all of the things our property tax gives me.
If someone were breaking into my house with a gun, I wouldn’t be thinking, “Eh – I sure am glad I saved that money on my property tax rather than have more police.”
There are things I am EXCITED to pay for.
And many of those things are paid for by my property tax.
I WANT to pay for police and fire people.
I WANT to pay for parks and trails.
Instead of letting my brain go zonkers and freak out about the 78% increase, I can choose to be grateful this isn’t the wild, wild West.
These aren’t thoughts that I am saying to placate myself.
These are things I actually believe.
I just need to remind myself and direct my thoughts to ones that serve me rather than ones that create panic in my gut.
Make no mistake.
I am not a pushover. I am assertive and I am confident.
But I am confident from a place of peace rather than a place of rage.
And when I feel myself veering towards anger, I repeat to myself, for myself…
May you be happy,
May you be well,
May you be safe.
Ahhh. That’s what steers me back towards peace.
And now I can go file my tax protest.
A money block is a thought you have that keeps you from feeling abundant.
No matter how much money someone has, I see a lot of the same money blocks across the board.
Here are three I hear a lot:
1 – Thinking you have to deserve it.
Here’s the real deal…
Money is just money. It is neutral. You don’t have to be someone special to have money or get money. There is plenty of money for everyone. There are lots of ways to get money. You can earn it through offering value. You can inherit it. You can win the lottery. You can get money in a divorce. You can sell something that has value. You can invest.
None of those involves deserving or not deserving. They just are.
It is your birthright to feel abundant.
2 – Waiting for permission from someone else.
If you are divorcing, you may want your soon to be ex-spouse to tell you how much money you can have. I want to suggest that you are unlikely to have the best outcome if you are waiting for their permission to have your money. There are usually a lot of thoughts and emotions that rear their ugly head when it comes to divorcing. Even couples that start out amicably become less giving as they distance themselves from the old relationship.
Some people are waiting for permission from their peers.
They have made a lot more money than their friends and don’t feel free to enjoy their abundance for fear of making their friends feel badly.
Let me suggest that you have no control over how the other person feels.
You don’t have to rub their noses in it to feel abundant.
And then there are bosses. Need I say more?
3 – I don’t know how to make money
No one knows how to make money until they do it. Everyone thinks they need to know how it is going to happen to do it.
But you don’t know how to ride a bike until you figure out how balance feels.
And you figure that out as you go.
Get back to a beginner’s mentality. You are going to figure this out. No question.
There are hundreds of money block thoughts that hold people back.
What are some of yours?