If the answer is no, then something you are doing, thinking, or feeling is in opposition to creating the wealth you want in your life.
Don’t fall into the trap of gauging your own worth by the money you have.
But numbers do track your intentions.
If you set financial goals and create a plan to get there, the results will reflect the effectiveness of your plan.
Plans don’t have to be complex.
You can sock away 10% of what you make.
You can put six month’s income in a special account in case of an unexpected turn of events.
You can ask for a raise.
Those are simple.
So many of my clients think that because they are taking a lot of action they are moving towards their money goals.
But the results tell a different story.
You have to be willing to look at what you TRULY want in life.
If you don’t have the money you want, maybe you value other things more than money.
And that’s OK.
But be in alignment.
Tell yourself the truth.
You may think that you want more money when you actually want time with your family more.
Or it might be you don’t have your plan calibrated.
So tweak it.
Take your blinders off.
Set some intentions.
Set some goals.
Take planned action.
What are your results telling you?
I have a friend who is deciding where to work…where to create her income.
She decided to do a pro and con list for each place she is considering.
Here is the problem I have with a list of pros and cons:
Once you get to the point where you are writing the list, you are only asking the analyzing part of your brain to make a decision.
You are asking your managing brain to only look at the facts to make a decision.
And there is the thing…
What makes you happy and satisfied are not facts.
You experience the decision through feelings.
Happy is an emotion.
Satisfied is an emotion.
Horrified is an emotion.
So start by using your body to help make your decision.
That’s where your emotions live.
Think about each option and listen to what your body tells you.
Your body may feel light and whisper that you should take the leap.
You may have a knot in your gut telling you to not make that choice.
You may have to get very still and listen very carefully, but your body is always having some sort of reaction to your thinking.
When you join up with your body you are tapping into all of the nonverbal parts of your brain.
You are including the part of you that controls fight or flight.
You are including the part of you that makes sure you get enough rest and food and love.
Your body has what some call a second brain in your gut.
Get quiet enough to hear what your gut says about choices in your money life.
Our culture has gone way overboard in doing all of our decision-making in our prefrontal cortex.
And how is that working for us as a culture?
As a whole we are stressed and time crunched and overweight.
Let’s even out the mind/body information gathering.
Sure, if all things feel equal, resort to the list of pros and cons.
But keep in mind that your analyzing mind is less likely to tell you the truth,
while your body never lies.
The first step to change your money situation is to reveal your own money story.
Yes, I know you think you don’t have a story about money… money is just money.
But we all have a story just by being alive and living around other people.
It’s the rules we have in our head about what money means.
And what we have to do about it.
And how important it is.
A lot of your money story is hidden.
We all tend to hide from our money truth.
We think it’s just fact.
My father was a banker, so I have all sorts of money stories based on things I heard as a little girl.
My sister told me that when she got her first bank account Mom told her that Dad would lose his job at the bank if she bounced a check.
Wow. That’s a pretty powerful story. I’m sure that type of story has colored both of our money thinking.
It’s not fact. It’s just a story.
Sit down with a piece of paper and write down every fear you have about money.
Write down every thought that directs how you exchange money for other things.
Your first step toward your money story is to do a thought download.
When you are doing this money story detective work, think about all of the people who have influenced you.
Some prompts I use with my clients are:
- What did your parents teach you about money?
- Did they teach you that money is scarce?
- What did you pick up from being around your teachers, friends, spouse and bosses?
- Did they teach you that if you have more money someone else has less?
Then for each money thought ask yourself, “Is it true?”
Is it really true that there is not enough money?
Is it really true that you are not good with money?
Is it really true that people who have more money are more successful?
The vast majority of the time, the answer is no.
You can’t prove it’s true.
This step alone can take away a layer of hopelessness and anxiety.
The more you do this exercise the more your money story will match the truth.
The more you do this exercise the more you create space for money in your life.
You will more closely align your values with how you interact with money.
Lay aside the stories that have been in the shadows of your mind driving your money life.
Its time to know the truth about your money.
And the best part is that the truth always feels better.