Hi, I’m Ellen. I am a Master Life Coach. But what I really do is have deep conversations with really cool people who are ready to create a life they love.
There are always some negative emotions when you go to college.
That’s just how change works.
And the thing we’ve learned to do is avoid those emotions.
That’s not so good.
Now is the time to find some other ways to deal with negative emotions like being sad or scared or bored, other than numbing your feelings with the computer and phone and IPad and TV.
Your parents were lucky enough not to have a quick way to numb the loneliness.
There weren’t any cell phones.
Not everyone had computers.
When you don’t have phones or computers or TVs everywhere, what’s the only option? Get out of your room and talk to people.
That’s what your parents experienced.
So that sort of sucks for you that you have all this juicy stuff at your fingertips.
The latest and greatest.
But what can you do about it?
When you get lonely (or any bad feeling),
try taking the earbuds out, and feel your feelings.
Don’t numb. Just feel.
The more you push down the bad feelings, the more it festers.
Just feel them.
Most bad feelings pass through your body within 90 seconds.
You can handle 90 seconds.
And sometimes it comes in waves.
But the waves get further and further apart.
And because you don’t have your earbuds in, you may meet someone who makes you a little less lonely 🙂
The first thing to do in any transition is to love yourself.
I know, I know, it sounds cheesy.
But if you don’t love yourself, you’re going to look for love and comfort outside of yourself.
Well, you can imagine the kind of trouble that could get you into.
Girlfriends who take advantage of you.
Boyfriends who don’t have your interest at heart.
Too much food, drink, drugs, shopping, sex, etc. Basically, anything that lights up the dopamine reward receptors in your brain.
Instead of love from outside yourself, make it an inside job.
Make a list of all the things you love about yourself.
Write it in the notes section of your phone.
That’s worth your screen time.
And once you love yourself, any love from outside yourself is like the cherry on top.
It is time to get back in touch with your body.
Chances are you have been tuning out your body’s natural signals for years.
You have stayed up late to study for a test.
You can’t eat when you are hungry, because the bell hasn’t rung for lunch.
You go to school even when you’re sick because you don’t want to fall behind.
As a society, we haven’t done very well in helping you learn to listen to the powerful signals are body is sending about your wellbeing.
When you are tired you should sleep.
When you are hungry, listen to your body and figure out what it wants to eat, and then eat it. (When you listen carefully enough, it will choose healthy food most of the time.)
We’ve been letting society dictate what’s good for us way too long.
It’s time to value what your body is trying to tell you.
Your body will thank you.