All Change is Bad.

As my mother says, “All change is bad.”
I understand.
Because often it feels bad to make a change.

When friends and family sense change, they act out.
They lash out verbally.
At the ones they love.

“ALL my friends are going to the beach on Spring Break.”
“We are the only kids we know who have never been to Disney World, Mother.”
I didn’t know that entire sentences could be said with clenched teeth. It’s really like a ventriloquist act.

And the reason they say these mean things is sometimes it gets results.
It’s not premeditated.
But we are all trained to do what brings results.
It’s a reflex like when your hands reach out to brace you as you fall.
CHANGE. Gaackh! No! Red alert, red alert!
That’s normal. It’s how we’re wired.

But now, the pivotal moment is upon you… you get to choose how to respond.

1 – You could give a snappy, snarky response like, “I’m sure you aren’t the only person who has never been to Disney World.”
2 – Picture yourself as Mother Earth, saying, “Gee… you’re the only one? That must really suck.”
3 – You are merely an observer to the way change is worn by your loved one, and say, “Mmmm” in a neutral yet compassionate way.

The correct answer? Well, really, any of the three. I’ve given them all.
#2 would be what society would suggest I do as the “perfect mother”(except maybe the word suck), but #3 will bring you the most real peace.

The grousing is the process of change.
Instead of running away from the icky feeling, just know that it’s supposed to happen.
Instead of trying to fix things for people, know that it is part of the process they need to go through.

Do nothing.
Don’t try to fix things.
But let them know you are compassionately listening.

It’s not about you.
Even though they say it is.

And if you are the one going through the change, well, throw your tiny little tantrum, and feel that feeling.
That’s change, baby.
You know you’re alive.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *